Humbled

I have been in the whirlwind.  The devil has sent forth his mighty winds, yea his shafts in the whirlwind, his hail and mighty storm and I have remembered my foundation, the rock upon which I have built, which is Jesus Christ, the Son of God.  A foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.  I kept running into the wall in my mind - I knew that my testimony was not in danger, my testimony is solidly built upon the Savior and I do not waver in it.  Yet, I could not resolve in my mind that I should feel so rudderless, so unfounded, so desperate, and not waver in my testimony.  How could I feel this way if I have such confidence in the power of the Atonement to heal, to strengthen, to make clean?  And this morning I have my answer - I have lacked faith.  I have neglected to repent for my pettiness, my pride, my lack of compassion.  And these sins and weaknesses have stood in my way, they have blocked the comfort of the Spirit and the blessings of the Lord through humble prayer, obedience, even the comfort of offering service has been withheld.  I am reminded of my humility before the Lord God.  Reminded that I am small and weak of myself, easily beset by temptation, and powerless in the face of it - except for the power of a loving Heavenly Father, through the Atonement of His Son, to bless His children.  To bless me to be more than I am.  To bless me to be patient, long-suffering, meek, loving, gentle, faithful...to bless me to be more like the Savior.  As I acknowledge my weakness before Him, I am made strong.  As I exercise my faith to repent, to rely on His loving mercy, my faith is strengthened.  One eternal round.  I rejoice in the glory of the Lord my God, and His magnificent power to make me better and more than I am of myself.  Truly, I offer these thoughts in worship and praise to my God.  These small and inadequate thoughts, these small and inadequate words, my small testimony, I offer to Him these small things, and know that He accepts them from my honest, if imperfect heart.  What measure can there be that will show His greatness above me?  I don't have words to explain what I have seen this morning, except to say that I am deeply humbled before my God, and I can only be grateful to Him to see myself so clearly, to understand how profoundly I need Him.