Sisters

I wasn't prepared for the show the audience puts on.  I had forgotten that people use public events as an opportunity to put on their finery and to watch and be watched.  To judge and be judged.  The girls wore skinny jeans or daisy dukes and a tank top, or a dress.  They wore high heels or flip-flops or cute little slippers.  I looked at their faces as they paraded by, confidently and strutting, or meekly and mincing, and I saw that every one had a beautiful face.  Some more beautiful than others, but all possessed of some delicacy, some turn of feature, that made them a pleasure to look at.  And I wondered, as I often do, how it is that they have overlooked their beautiful faces, and think it necessary to uncover their bodies.  One girl walked by and I stared at her clean and pretty face, ignoring her immodesty, and as she passed, she gave me the up and down that said I was beneath her and no competition.  I had forgotten to compete.  I had forgotten that girls measure each other constantly, gauging their beauty against each other, gauging their value by how skinny they are, or how perfect their smile.  I had forgotten that it is an effort to join together as sisters and to put aside our rivalries, even when the contest is won, and we wear a man at our side.

I want more than this.  I know that we are better than this.  I have seen women engaged in powerful, if small, acts of service and I know that there is a way of being women together that is beyond the catty and spiteful and into the divine.  Let us be sisters together, and no more rivals and enemies.  Let us encourage each other, and lift each other up.  Let us not judge each other, by whatever standard.  I am reminded of the hymn "in the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see, who am I to judge another, Lord, I would follow thee".  We can be powerful in doing good together, let us not be weak in tearing each other down. 

Humbled

I have been in the whirlwind.  The devil has sent forth his mighty winds, yea his shafts in the whirlwind, his hail and mighty storm and I have remembered my foundation, the rock upon which I have built, which is Jesus Christ, the Son of God.  A foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.  I kept running into the wall in my mind - I knew that my testimony was not in danger, my testimony is solidly built upon the Savior and I do not waver in it.  Yet, I could not resolve in my mind that I should feel so rudderless, so unfounded, so desperate, and not waver in my testimony.  How could I feel this way if I have such confidence in the power of the Atonement to heal, to strengthen, to make clean?  And this morning I have my answer - I have lacked faith.  I have neglected to repent for my pettiness, my pride, my lack of compassion.  And these sins and weaknesses have stood in my way, they have blocked the comfort of the Spirit and the blessings of the Lord through humble prayer, obedience, even the comfort of offering service has been withheld.  I am reminded of my humility before the Lord God.  Reminded that I am small and weak of myself, easily beset by temptation, and powerless in the face of it - except for the power of a loving Heavenly Father, through the Atonement of His Son, to bless His children.  To bless me to be more than I am.  To bless me to be patient, long-suffering, meek, loving, gentle, faithful...to bless me to be more like the Savior.  As I acknowledge my weakness before Him, I am made strong.  As I exercise my faith to repent, to rely on His loving mercy, my faith is strengthened.  One eternal round.  I rejoice in the glory of the Lord my God, and His magnificent power to make me better and more than I am of myself.  Truly, I offer these thoughts in worship and praise to my God.  These small and inadequate thoughts, these small and inadequate words, my small testimony, I offer to Him these small things, and know that He accepts them from my honest, if imperfect heart.  What measure can there be that will show His greatness above me?  I don't have words to explain what I have seen this morning, except to say that I am deeply humbled before my God, and I can only be grateful to Him to see myself so clearly, to understand how profoundly I need Him.