Grief

No brave platitudes today.  No tidy little ending where my feelings are resolved into a lesson learned.

I HURT.  I keep trying to find something to eat that will answer the emptiness and then I realize the gaping demand is crying from my chest rather than my stomach.  No amount of food will satisfy loneliness.  No volume of sugar will bind up the wounds of my aching heart.  Every country song I love draws out my hurt with its empathic whining sap, or with unkept promises of a love I've never met.  There is not enough understanding in a room full of understanding women to understand away this pain.  

I will sit in this grief until it passes.  The only way out is through.  I guess I ended in a platitude anyway.  Maybe tomorrow I'll laugh at that, but today...today I grieve.